npr/getty images
by John Dankosky - Fresh off a near sub-freezing mowing of the lawn (including the little patch in front of the abandoned house next door) I’m digging into my Sunday reading list about neighbors. We wanted to think a bit more about who our neighbors are, what we know about them, and why we should care.
We couldn’t help but wonder more, as we saw scores of stories and video clips from Bridgeport and Shelton over the last few weeks. Dozens of international and local reporters descended on these towns, hungry for any shred of information about the alleged Times Square bomber, Faisal Shahzad. NPR’s Robert Smith’s story bears the headline that – while seemingly dead-on – is almost a cliche of crime stories: Faisal Shahzad: ‘Nice Guy’ Turned Terrorism Suspect
Shahzad’s Bridgeport neighbors paint the standard picture: “We’ve never seen nobody coming out of the house … or coming in,” says neighbor Lavonne Muse. “We really thought it was vacant. We didn’t know people was living there.”
NBC Connecticut’s story talked about a “quiet, normal” man – the description most associated with neighbor’s shocked reactions to tragedy. In fact, a search of “neighbor a quiet man” drew me to dozens of links, including a Christian Slater movie I never saw, and a YouTube video about reaction to a courthouse shooter. The first neighbor’s sound bite could essentially be copied and used in nearly any television report on a similar incident. ”He was very, very quiet. He kept to himself,” Johnetta Watkins told the AP.
Then there’s the New York Times headline about Shahzad, seemingly asking for a bit more from those who live next door. It screams: Suspects’ Neighbors Say There Was No Hint of Evil. Whoa. We’re supposed to be sniffing out evil now?
So, the question is, how well should we get to know those around us? Not for reasons of international security, but just so that we have someplace to go when we get locked out of the house. Just so there’s someone to call if you need a favor. Just so your home, already a castle, doesn’t turn into a fortress.
We’ll be talking with Mark Oppenheimer, a regular WNPR contributor, whose essay “It’s a Wonderful Block” in the Times, explores what makes his New Haven street work. He writes that his street, while no “real estate agents dream,” also “values community without requiring conformity.” That the neighbors are “friendly but not nosy.”
We’ll also hear from Peter Lovenheim, the author whose new book, “In the Neighborhood” has him sleeping over at the houses of people who live near him, but whom he’s barely gotten to know.
I hope you can join us. What makes a good neighbor? Leave a comment below, or call 860-275-7266 from 9-10 am ET. You can also send an email to wherewelive@wnpr.org.
A good neighbor makes cookies or fruitcakes around Christmas time. (PeeWee’s Playhouse)
A good neighbor hosts a block party in the summer time. (Gatsby)
A good neighbor is willing to call the police (non-emergency number) when something or somebody seems wrong.
A good neighbor doesn’t let garbage accumulate next to their house.
A good neighbor tries to reimburse you when their actions cause property damage.
A good neighbor hangs his coat in the closet and takes his dress shoes off, then puts on a zipper cardigan and sneakers as soon as he comes home and says “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.”
A good neighbor practices humility, to a degree, when they disagree with your house / yard maintenance.
A good neighbor respects the neighborhood kids AND pets, but still keeps relative distance from them.
A good neighbor tips the local paper carrier, will buy girl scout cookies at the door, and will buy lemonade from lemonade stands.
A good neighbor has an open-fridge policy when you’re visiting. (Kramer & Seinfield)
A good neighbor returns what is borrowed (Flanders & Simpson)
I laughed when I heard the topic for this show and wished that I could have listened in live.
I am not a native New Englander but from the west coast. My husband who transplanted me to NY then got a job in Ct.
I hate to say it…but I have never been in a place that was so unfriendly. We had neighbors that we waved at for two years (and they didn’t wave back) until they were forced to say ‘hello’ to us and introduce themselves.
Most of my neighbors I had to march myself to their houses to introduce myself.
Mind you, most people in my neighborhood are in the same position as I am; stay at home mom with young children. Yet, our children don’t play together often, it is rare to see kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood unless they are older…etc.
People in Ct. have a strange sense of neighborhood and even of friendship. One friend of mine constantly talks about a friend she has (who lives down the road from her) that she only speaks to every few months and gets together with once every six months or so. That is friendship ala Ct.
Thank goodness I have some other transplants in my neighborhood, or I would have gone insane by now.
Sorry to say it Ct. but your strong point is not being open to relationships. There is a strong, solitary, insular New England spirit still very much alive here.